This Author's Thoughts on Motherhood

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States, and I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about what being a mom means to me and how it's changed me. Motherhood is the most difficult job I've ever had. I like to joke that I haven't slept in more than 18 years (the oldest of my three kids celebrated her 18th birthday in April; the youngest will turn 4 this December). But is it really a joke? I didn't know worry until my daughter was born, and that worry has only compounded with each additional child. From breastfeeding worries (am I making enough milk? How do I know if he's eating enough?) to the absolutely wild concerns that come as they approach adulthood (When should we talk about safe sex? What kind of consequences can I impose for misbehavior that won't make it difficult for them to pursue their passions?), there is always something on my mind. But one thing has stayed the same - everything I do, every personal success I have, is because I push myself to be a better person for them.

When I decided to start graduate school in 2018 for my Master's in English and Creative Writing, I was terrified that I wouldn't have time to successfully complete my coursework and be a good mom to my kids. My husband and kids encouraged me to pursue the degree and my dreams, despite my fears, and their support led to my first novel, Into the Shadowlands. Roarke and Gedran, the brothers at the center of the story, are based loosely on my first two children and their sibling relationship. I couldn't have written that book or finished my degree without their cheerleading and support, and I'm grateful every day that they call me Mom (or Mother, or Ma, or Bruh... it really depends on the day).

The author in her 35th week of pregnancy with her third child (Late November 2020)

Despite my love for my own mother and my joy in being mom to my own brood, I've always had mixed feelings about holidays like Mother's Day. These holidays have always felt like occasions specifically designed to sell themed merchandise and greeting cards. The commercialism has always bothered me. And the competition - especially in the age of social media? That's the worst. Celebrating the mothers in your life shouldn't be about extravagant purchases or purchasing collections of "Mama" themed gifts. Nobody shouldn't feel less-than because they can't afford a diamond necklace or an expensive spa day.

This year, I told my husband and kids that I didn't want "stuff" for Mother's Day - I wanted time together. Boy, did they deliver! On Thursday, I was treated to a family dinner - the whole family gathered around the same table, at the same time, laughing and talking together. Our hectic schedules make it next to impossible for us to have dinner together the majority of the time, but my older kids skipped after school activities (Dungeons & Dragons club and a dance rehearsal) for the day to make it happen. Today, I was treated to a manicure by my middle kiddo, who is wrapping up his sophomore year of high school as a cosmetology student at our local technical high school. Tomorrow, we'll have more family time as we explore my favorite place (the local arboretum) with my in-laws. I'm excited to spend the time with my mother in-law and celebrate her. It'll be the perfect way to wrap up such a wonderful week of family time.

I did receive one special gift for Mother's Day that wasn't about family togetherness - we put down the deposit for Mistress of Night's cover! You can find the Pinterest inspiration board here, and see below for an aesthetic graphic. I'm so excited to journey back to Ship's Haven and share Reisu and Maddox's story with you later this year.

All my best, and happy Mother's Day!

Tiffany